This is a safe and supportive space for anyone affected by domestic abuse, controlling behaviour, emotional manipulation, or toxic relationships. Whether your experiences are past or present, you are welcome to share openly at your own pace. You deserve to feel safe, heard, and supported, and this space exists to remind you that you do not have to face these experiences alone.
Hi everyone I’m Ushma one of the admins on this page. Today’s vlog is… it’s the hardest one I’ve ever spoken about. But it’s also the most important. I’m making this because when I was trapped in the darkest period of my life, I felt completely invisible. I’m speaking up today so that anyone reading this who feels invisible right now knows that they are seen, they are loved, and they can survive."
The Reality of the 3 Years
"For three years, my life wasn’t my own. When people think of domestic abuse, they often picture loud arguments or a single bad night. They don’t see the slow, calculated way someone erodes your self worth until you don't even recognize the person looking back at you in the mirror. For three years, I lived in a cycle of fear. I carry the physical reminders of that time every single day. The cuts that had to heal in secret, the burns, the physical scars on my skin that I used to try so hard to hide under long sleeves and makeup. But the truth is, the physical pain was only half of it. It was the psychological trap the constant manipulation that made me believe, somehow, that I deserved it. Or that it would get better 'next time and it would eventually stop. “It didn't get better It escalated.
I was thrown across floors. I was pushed down stairs. And the hardest, most devastating truth I have to carry is that the violence cost me my unborn child. Losing my baby because of the actions of someone who claimed to love me is a heartbreak I don't think words will ever fully be able to capture. It broke me in a way I didn't know a human being could break. People who haven't been through this always ask the same question: 'Why didn't you just leave?'
I want to answer that honestly. Because leaving isn't an event, it’s a process. When you are living in survival mode, frozen by fear, and isolated from everyone who loves you, finding the exit door feels impossible. It took me three years. Three years of trying to gather the fragments of my courage, waiting for the moment where the desire to survive finally outweighed the paralyzing fear of what they would do if I tried to go."
But the day final arrived I did leave. I walked out, and I didn't look back. And as terrifying as it was to step into the unknown, it was the first time I could actually breathe. But leaving was just step one. Step two was fighting back through the system. I wanted justice not just for me, and not just for the years stolen from me, but for my baby. Going through the legal process, facing the reality of what happened in a courtroom, and holding my abuser accountable was exhausting. It forced me to relive the worst moments of my life. But when justice was finally served, it felt like a weight I’d been carrying for three years was finally lifted off my chest. It proved that they didn't win. They didn't break me completely."
I’m sharing this on this mental health page today because healing is not linear. I still have bad days. The scars both the ones on my body and the ones on my heart are part of my story now. But they are no longer signs of my shame. They are proof of my survival.
If you are watching this, and you are currently in a relationship where you are being hurt, controlled, or made to feel small, please hear me. It is not your fault. You did not cause this. And you do not have to stay. It might take you time, and that is okay. But please know that there is a life waiting for you on the other side of that door. A life where you are safe & someone here who will help you get through it.