Thank you for opening up and sharing something so personal. No child should ever have to carry that kind of weight, especially at such a young age. Finding out the truth must have been incredibly overwhelming, confusing, and heartbreaking.
The loneliness you describe is something many people who experience parental loss silently carry every single day. It can leave questions, emptiness, sadness, anger, and moments where you feel completely disconnected from others around you. Those feelings are real and you don't need to hide them.
At the same time, it is beautiful to hear how much your aunty Ushma has stood beside you. While nobody can ever replace your mum, having someone who chose to love, protect, and support you through the hardest parts of your life matters more than words can explain. That kind of care can become a light in even the darkest moments.
Please remember this: you are not alone in your grief, we are all now by your side and you do not have to carry it in silence. Your story matters. Your feelings matter. And despite everything you have been through, your life still holds value, purpose, and the possibility of healing one step at a time. ❤️