Listen to the track:
The Ballad of Call Thirty Six
Inspired by the sight of an Amazon van trying to drive along Brownhill Lane by the top of footpath 29.
Verse 1
Well the Amazon van was hummin fine
Windows down and the sun was gonna shine
He’d made thirty five drops with time to spare
Just one more package nearly there
The sat nav said turn right ahead
So he swung past the hedgerow and quietly said
Brown Hill Lane never heard of that
Then his tyres met mud and that was that
Chorus
Now he’s stuck in a hedge with the wheels all spin
Staring at a horse with a cheeky grin
No signal no hope no room to back
That van ain’t never getting off that track
Call thirty six was never delivered
The brake lights flashed and the driver shivered
He swore he’d never trust that voice again
Down the cursed old path of Brown Hill Lane
Verse 2
There were brambles scratchin at the sliding door
He tried to reverse but just dug more
A dog appeared with a look of glee
Then vanished straight through a broken tree
He beeped and he honked and he shouted out
Till a farmer appeared with a laugh and a shout
You’re not the first and you won’t be the last
That lane chews up vans and spits out parts
Chorus
Now he’s stuck in a rut with a bale of hay
The package says urgent next day
But the only thing movin is a curious cow
And his ETA’s a mystery now
He prayed for help or a tow or crane
But none dare drive to Brown Hill Lane
He said this ain’t Prime this is cursed terrain
And he cursed the soul of Brown Hill Lane
Bridge
Now there’s legends told round Wembury town
Of a delivery guy who never turned round
Some say you can still hear the engine whine
Where the nettles grow and the blackbirds dine
So if your map says shortcut don’t be fooled
Brown Hill Lane is Amazon schooled
Final Chorus
So if you’re drivin with a box and a scan
Take the main road be a wiser man
Cause that bridle path’s a trap not a lane
You’ll lose your van and half your brain
He left the van and walked away
Package in hand he quit that day
And somewhere deep in the Devon rain
A van still waits on Brown Hill Lane