Chelmsford & District National Trust Supporter Group

Report by Shirley Deering.

On the evening of 13th December members welcomed old friend Charlie Haylock for his fourth visit as a speaker. Charlie called his talk “An Eccentric Look at East Anglia” and, as befitted the Christmas Season, was a light-hearted look at the speech and customs of the people of Essex, Suffolk and Norfolk.

Charlie began with a brief history of the invasion and conquest of this region by the Angles and Saxons, from across the North Sea, producing a unique racial mix. He went on to entertain his audience with a mixture of “shaggy dog” stories, jokes and comical verse, the latter calling for a large amount of audience participation. Of course, it took several attempts before Charlie was satisfied with the level of the sound! To start with, Charlie explained that outsiders just don’t understand East Anglian Phraseology and gave two examples of this.

Man walked out of pub leaving his cap on the table at which he’d been sitting. Half a minute later he returned and picked it up. Non-native customer said “Oh, you forgot your cap”. “No, I remembered it”, said native customer.

Man in Writtle asks local “What’s the quickest way to get to Chelmsford?” “Are you walking or going by car?” asks local. “By car” replies visitor. “That’s the quickest way”, says local.

One of Charlie’s comic verses involved the genius of a man who could repair anything “with a bit of binder string”. Members soon joined in calling out this line at the end of each verse. Similar treatment was accorded to the verses about a man from East Anglia who visited various countries on the Continent and was offered a local dish, such as paella, in each country, but all he wanted was “a nice cup of tea.”

Charlie made the point that country people don’t travel well but any “townie” who thinks they are slow and stupid and can be taken advantage of will soon find he is the one looking silly. A happy evening, ending with an expression of peace and goodwill to all mankind.